I. MUST. DEFINITELY. WRITE. TONIGHT.

And I must also practise for my Ls (even if its not hard, i dont want to waste another $35).

my neck has been hurting. and i dont know why. last night, on my way home from late-night shopping in CBD, there was a fight on some platform that delayed my train for four mins. my dad had to drive my friends home and he was asking about my guy friend who i told was a gay guy (even if he was a homophobe) but my dad was still saying im just a child and shouldnt go out at night.

IT WAS BARELY MIDNIGHT. -rages-

I walked for hours yesterday, looking for a gaara plushie but I only found it after i bought the audible shit-hammer. T______________T

it has been four days since i bought my new phone and i still can t use it because stupid. vodafone. won't. send. me. the. unlocking. code. GAHHHHHHHHHHHHH! My phone is just sitting next to me right now, begging to be used but im not with vodafone.

GOD i must also catch up on angel_puppeteer 's fanfics because i have been severely behind.

I'm also breaking out ;__________________; and they REALLY hurt like a motherfucker because they're around my mouth. WTF MAN. I must also ring AMEX when i get home to authorise the whole efpos shit.

Terence Yin's voice is SOOO DAMN SEXY. <3 And so is Daniel Wu. <33

My mum really stresses me, I haven't cried so much in years and it makes me feel like shit. But it's all good now - I got drunk last night from one bottle wow... i really suck. And I fucking asked the boy who liked me if he likes anyone - how fucking stupid could i be? Halfway through the bottle, I got depressed and tired after being high for like an hour - dancing like crazy.

I HAVE FUCKING WRITER'S BLOCK.

And to soothe myself, I've been watching PVs from Lady Gaga and listening to Owl City. I cut my hair today and the fringe is TOO FUCKING SHORT but it's okay - it will grow in time. My hairdresser also trimmed around 2cm of my hair - there goes 2 months of effort - *spazzes* >__< I found out that TAFE is a bitch to decide on. T___T there is no good course that would take me to uni (or im just looking in the wrong places XD) and I could actually do the UTS insearch thing BUT IT'S SO FUCKING EXPENSIVE *cries* it's 30k for a year and I dont even know if it will guarantee a spot into uni for me.

Oh well...

Sigh.

I read the latest translated chapter of Kyou, Koi wo Hajimemasu and I was sad. Then I went and read the latest raw chapter and I was happy that Kyouta didnt fuck her in the end =) KYOUTA WAS SO HOT WHEN HE STRIPPED *swoons*

BTW. I LOVE OWL CITY <333333333333

I failed.

TAFE. Here I come~

T_________________________________T

My results are being released tomorrow and im not even nervous. WTF.

>_________________________<

Despite what everyone says, I know I won't make it to uni - I fucked up during my trials because I got sick. And then I fucked up in the actual HSC exam because of mental blocks. I swear, if I do make it to uni, I will be a good girl and try hard. T___________T"

And right after getting my results, I'm off to work and eventually, i will get my reference from high school. I also have to return my unread books and get my Ls. The last thing I need is failing my Ls right after failing ATAR.

Presently, I am watching Atlantis and it's... kind of boring compared to Sinbad. LOLOL.

And thanks to mylinniie , I'm obsessed with Owl City's Fireflies. I might get my hands on their albums as well because the other song i have from them is also really nice.

Stupid fake Tiffany & Co necklaces. A whole bundle of them turned up tangled up in a bag today and I spent an hour untangling it, just when I finish (and stupid me for keeping them together) they fall onto the ground and start bitching at me.

Sigh.

It took me another ten minutes to separate and wrap them up in tissue paper.

Work was tiring today, there wasn't much customers so mum can barely afford the rent. I felt bad so I returned most of the pay she gave me, I'm happy with $10/20 a day instead of $50. We went to Kura III afterwards and ate Takoyaki, Yakisoba, Smoked Salmon Don and Salmon salad. Mmm... it was so nice, not as nice as Ichiban Boshi but still nice.

So I spent the better part of the night watching Sinbad and the trailer for Atlantis.

Awesome shit.

Truly, truly awesome shit.

I absolutely love Atlantis's OST so I got my hands on it right away, and the good thing is that the movies are on YouTube which saves me so much effort to go hunting for it. I can't believe I actually find Brad Pitt hot (at least his voice anyways - his character is bloody ugly) because he looks like a fugly baboon to me (Uh oh. many of my friends are going to hunt me down now).

I'm going to watch Treasure Planet after I watch Atlantis, and then maybe get my Ls then xD

Work is so time-consuming. It has effectively killed what was left of my social life - i dont even have time to see my friend before she goes to China... and im required to be at work all week (apart from Thursdays and Saturdays)

FML.

Child labour - but I live under her roof and she pays for nearly all my living expenses. Last week, I earned $140 (which doesn't seem like much but it is a lot to me considering my weekly allowance is only $30) and returned $70 to my mum.

(I'm such a good kid).

YOSH!

After work, I'm going to work on CM and WB and catch up on PH. i don't know how people can update so quickly D: And I think I have officially taken a break abandoned from FP.

P.S. That tinkerbell movie looks good!

I've been working for my mum this week and it sucks. I'm under paid MAJORLY. But I shouldn't complain because I live under her roof and it's better than the crappy allowance my dad gives me.

My head hurts so badly from the summer heat; i srsly can't wait to go China in January WHERE IT WILL BE COLD AND WINTER~~~

Anywho, I can't wait to go shopping in gz, and see my baby cousin who is turning one in Jan. <333

Oh well. My HSC results are out in three days and I can decide whether I can truly a failure or not then. I might as well work in my mum's shop for the rest of my life, selling jewellery and pretending to be nice to customers.

Okay, I've started writing again. Officially. My main project is going to be Wilted Blossom which is going to really dark and no, there won't be smut in it because I don't know how to write smut.

...

I have a fucking ulcer on my lower lip. FML. Right now, I'm so bored from RO that I'm actually going to start chapter 1 (because 00 means prologue =])

My Sakura isn't going to be cute and sweet. She's going to be a depressed bitch xD

P.S. I'm so obsessed with BEG's Abracadabra song.

Mmm... I'm so addicted to RO and I also feel like writing again - surprisingly not on FP. I feel like writing some SasuSakuness badly.

Damn, I also need to start studying for my Ls and get some decent sleep. I have all the time in the world and yet I cam barely get enough sleep.

Fuck.

Wednesday was the day that I no longer have to wear my uniform anymore. It makes me slightly sad to know that... my exams are all over and I get to do whatever the hell I want. First i will conduct a to-do list:

To-Do List

- Get my Ls
- Catch up on PH
- Pay $136 for school fees
- Pay $190 for formal
- Clean room
- Get my teachers gifts
- Update HMT and TLC
- Start on SS and other fics
- Get my hands on Catching Fire
- Finish watching Veronica Mars and OTH - also catch up on dramas
- Finish reading Super Gals and unfinished anime.
- DL RO and start playing MF
- Get clearance form and hand it in
- Burn HSC notes and post-its - farewell, little shits. I'm not burning  textbooks even if you want me to, D.
- Must start sleeping early.

* Cross when completed.

I realised that this will most likely be the last time I will come in contact with the school, when I saw my AH teacher on my way to my MH exam, I got pretty emotional (despite the fact that I don't show it). I also watched my graduation ceremony finally - too bad dad didn't tape the principal's address.

That's it for now, most likely going to post more now.

My first LJ entry in weeks.

I have two exams left (one in three hours and one in 30hrs).
All I can say is that I am at wit's end. Literally.
i don't have the will to study anymore - or to do anything but read manga or sleep... all these notes about the Arab-Israel Conflict and Albert Speer is taking a toll onto me psychologically.
What is worse is that I have become nocturnal... T______________T
I haven't been eating regularly either... weight has dropped to 40kg now. Skin is breaking out. Hair gets oily. Chronic headaches.

OVERALL = Lack of motivation.

In two days, all this will be over but I can't even bring myself to open any of my notes. In two days, I will be free to do whatever the hell I want. Go on plagiarismhaven . Write my stories. Watch dramas. Watch anime. Sleep like a log. Relax. Play bejeweled. Restart my relationship with RO. Give CS a go. Go China.

But why can't I bring myself to absorb all this information? Why do I have a mental block? I can't bring myself to think of what to do if I don't make it into uni. it will be hard to take an alternative path to teaching. Expensive. time-consuming. Morale-crushing.

Just two more days.

Just two more...

(I have not contemplated suicide. nor have I suffered an episode. However, I have cried like a bitch while watching Koizora.)

Fuck you, HSC. Srsly. Fuck you for wasting my time, Business Studies - English - More English.

My year is cursed, our papers are fucked up. People who create the papers are either high on pot or just find it fun to play a sadist god.

Fuck the world.

FML.

P.S. Damn, the stupid song is in my head. Abracadabra by Brown Eyed Girls has been stuck in my head for days. Ga-in is so fucking hot in the clip. Love her hair. I want it. But I can't bring myself to hack off the hair I have been slaving to grow. Will grow it to my waist. Keep for a few years. Hack it to look like Ga-in's.

P.S.S. Has fallen in love with SasuSaku all over again. Sarang hae yo. Will return to FF.net and fantasize about them in 48 hrs.

Now back to studying.

I have officially graduated as an 09ner.

I took many photos but i didnt get the chance to take photos with my favourite ones. For the next month, i will be studying for my exams and shopping for gifts. I also have to save up for prom... and other stuff.

I didn't think I would have time to post something but I just had to because of the event that occurred on my mother's bday (note that she wasn't even in Australia to celebrate it).

On September 23, 2009, Australia was swept by this giant dust storm that made Australia look like the planet Mars. My friends recounted to be that they thought it was the apocalypse (and I had the misfortune of missing out because I was still tucked in bed as I had decided to miss ANOTHER day of school.)

When I woke up, the storm had already passed but I immediately knew something was off because when I treaded around barefoot, I noticed my home's tiles felt somewhat dustier than usual, and then when I went on msn and started talking to my best friend about it, she told me that there was this giant dust storm.

So I decided to hop onto smh.com.au and I found out that the media had made a big deal about it - something about "haven't happened in 70 years - and I decided that in another 70 years when there will be another one, and I'm still alive, I would tell my grandbrats that I slept through the last one.

LOL.
 

After many weeks, I finally opened chapter one of Hamartia... and I found it difficult to type.

At the moment, I'm struggling to write Mischa and Kaitlin's second exchange - nothing is satisfactory.

Nothing at all.

One. I don't even think the name of the female lead suits her. Kaitlin was originally the name of my ice-bitch but I scrapped that story for now (and it's funny because I actually revised CF) and I'm kind of glad that I mentioned no names in the prologue of Hamartia. It means I'm able to change her name without confusing anyone yet.

I can't think of a name for the girl. Should it be an everyday name like Jessica, Diana or Sarah; or should it be something unique like Jannette, Tessandra or Eden?

What crappy names.

I'm about to start on her first meeting with Leon and it's going to get good. Right from the start, I know that my readers will hate him. They have to - but it's up to me to be able to deliver him properly or else they won't hate him. I've decided that I will write it in third-person POV because it might be easier for their complex relationship to begin.

Sigh.

This isn't a good time to write but I neeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeed to.

Also, I'm obsessed with Prisoner of Love

EDIT: I've always imagined Mischa to look like Twiggy. The small, whimsical, androgynous look seemed to fit her and for now, Kaitlin's name has been changed to Rose.

The name is going to become quite significant.

This is really bad, I haven't been attending school regularly and I only have three weeks before graduation. I wake up on time but I lack the initiative to leave the house - and I know I should be going to school.

I failed biz as well. FML.

Started watching Othros no Inu and Last Friends. And no, I'm not watching it for Ryo but he's so damn hot in LF - even if he's a girl-hitter/rapist. I finally finished watching 1 litre of tears and I bawled my eyes out during the SP (especially when he calls her out-of-service phone). I was actually expecting him to have her dolphin dangling as well.

And I finally got my little claws onto THG. I shall start reading it immediately (when I should be studying for my exams).

Also tried catching up with KevJumba. Made me laugh for hours on end. =)

NEW SONG ADDICTION.

You would think, after ignoring him for months, and block-deleting him from msn for two months, he would take a hint?

Of course not.

It's him after all. I thought by getting rid of him on fb would mean that he would understand... but no, he didn't. Instead, he sends me a text, asking how I have been.

I just laughed and deleted the msg (forgetting to block him). If he sends me another text or calls me, I will pick up and explain things to him kindergarten-style because I'm sick of being reminded of him.

A lot of things remind me of him, especially anything that remotely resembles a pig. Every time I go on farmville and I see my pigs, I think of that fucker's ugly face and I feel disgusted.

I remember his voice, the conversations we had and the fact that he is a disgusting person. How did I manage to put up with him for a year?

Oh right. I remember.

He got weirder after his girlfriend dumped him. He kept ranting about how much of a slut she was and how he wanted to kill her and the new guy. But of course, he was weird beforehand. He actually thought I believed that he had a hot, kinky ghost haunting him, a girl trying to fuck him in school and that his friend got raped.

Get real.

I only pretended to believe him to be polite but he went ON and on.

How fucking childish. And then he had the nerve to say that he looks up to me and that I'm his older sister when he is fucking older than me.

Anyways, enough of him. I had a shit week and I think it'll get even shittier because of my massive migraine.

Peace out, homedawgz.

These two days without my sister have been the bestttttttttttttttttttt!

In these two days, I have consumed 12 noodles because she went to Animania.

HAHAHAHA. I feel like I'm going to die from all the carbs =)

I changed my journal layout several times but I haven't found one to satisfy me and I can't CSS for shit.

I feel so fat from all the instant noodles right now.

Sigh.

Life is so depressing, recently, I have began to think that I'm a horrible person - people are scared of me, or they are angry at me. And I failed my AH trial and I got 64% for MH trial.

There goes any chances of going to uni.

For the past 24 hours, I have realised that  choking on thick, yellowish-white phlegm is one of the most unpleasant feelings in the world. I literally had to stick my tissue-clad fingers into my mouth to pull it out.

Yuck.

It also feels weird to know that I'm entering my last month of high school... many farewells and I'm going to miss most of my teachers. D:

For the next two months, I'm going to study my ass off and pull up my marks!

It's currently 6am and I woke up two hours ago from dreaming about Yama-chan and it was REALLY similar to the PV of Mayonaka no Shadow Boy - it was sooooo hot.

And he could speak English in my dream. =)
(I'm such a fangirl)